


Your Hand in Mine

by luciferase



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s09e10 Road Trip, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Implied Gabriel/Sam Winchester, M/M, Sad Ending, Saving the World, Spoilers, Suicide, Texting, possible ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-13 02:29:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1209406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luciferase/pseuds/luciferase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is gone, and Sam is alone. He turns to a certain snarky, arrogant Archangel for guidance, and is set off to save the world once again.</p><p>The words 'I love you' have never been harder to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Correspondence;;

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is long, and unhappy. You can skip the mild humor that the text part is supposed to bring, although I urge you to read it, because the end won't feel right. Trust me on this, okay?  
> Suicide TW.  
> I'm so sorry.  
> Rated mature for mild sexual content.  
> This was originally an RP. The second chapter was written by myself.

Hey. Uh... I don't know if you still use this number or-- I don't know. But I've been praying. And.. I wanted to know if you can hear me -SW

 

_C'mon now Sammy, I think you're starting to get desperate if you've got an archangel on speed dial. -G_

 

It's not funny. I've been praying. And you haven't answered -SW

 

_Damn right I haven't answered. -G_

 

Thanks. For the record, Yeah, I am desperate -SW

 

_Well Sam that's really not my problem. I'm kinda done dealing with you Winchesters, in case my radio silence didn't give it away already. -G_

 

I just thought... nevermind. You're right. Sorry, Gabe. I'm sorry. -SW

 

_Yeah, you are. -G_

 

 _You idiots pulled me into a whole lotta nasty shi_ t. -G

 

I know -SW

 

_And I can't back out from any of it. -G_

 

You're out. You've been out. It's fine -SW

 

_Oh Sammy. It's cute you think people ever really get out of this stuff. -G_

 

Don't patronize me -SW

 

_I will if I want to. -G_

 

I shouldn't have counted on you for anything. -SW

 

_You finally learning a lesson? -G_

 

Do you have any idea what's been going on recently? -SW

 

_Hows about you shed some light on the subject? -G_

 

 _Maybe it'll make you feel better. -_ G

 

Dean's gone. He left. Oh, not to mention I had an angel inside of me for a few months and he basically nearly drained all of my life away. So there's that. -SW

 

I needed you. And I prayed to you. But you're done dealing with us. So I guess I'm the idiot for believing in something for once -SW

 

_You should know better than that Sam. Angels are dicks. -G_

 

_Can't believe you ever did believe in us. -G_

 

Yeah, well. I can't believe it either. Dean... he let Gadreel trick me into saying yes, Gabriel. And Cas was human, so-- nevermind. Forget it. -SW

 

 _Hey woah there. Gadreel. You mean like, Gadreel Gadreel? The guy who let Luci slip past the gat_ es? -G

 

Continue your silence. -SW

 

_Scuze me? You telling me to shut up? -G_

 

You told me you were done. Don't act all interested now -SW

 

_What, a guy can't change his mind? -G_

 

You don't actually give a shit, Gabe. If it doesn't help you get something you want, it's not worth it, amiright? -SW

 

_That's true. -G_

 

_But this Gadreel character turned my world upside down. -G_

 

_I want his head. -G_

 

_So spill, Sammy. -G_

 

Yeah. That Gadreel. I think. As far as I know. From what Cas told me. He's working with Metatron. The scribe. That's all I know. I don't know where he is or... anything. -SW

 

_Metatron?! -G_

 

_Christ on a cracker. Sammich, why didn't you tell me this? -G_

 

This is what you get for ignoring me -SW

 

I tried to tell you, douchebag -SW

 

_Okay fine maybe you did. -G_

 

_But I had better things to do. -G_

 

I'm sure -SW

 

_You wanna deal with a pack of angry pagans? Be my guest. -G_

 

Whatever, Gabe. Just-- so you're in now? All of a sudden you're for Team Winchester plus an angel with stolen grace and the king of hell? -SW

 

_Hell no. -G_

 

_I'm team kick Metatron's ass. -G_

 

_I want nothing to do with you. -G_

 

The feeling is mutual -SW

 

 _So why're you even asking me? You just need the power of a zombie archangel on your team, donc_ ha? -G

 

You're not a zombie. You never actually died -SW

 

_Okay you got me. -G_

 

_Had you going though, didn't I? -G_

 

I mourned you. Stupidest thing I've ever done -SW

 

_Aw Sammy how sweet. -G_

 

It's not funny. -SW

 

_Oh yes it is. -G_

 

Glad to know that someone giving a shit about you and literally crying over your fake dead body is funny -SW

 

 _If it makes you feel any better I wasn't laughing then._ -G

 

It doesn't, actually. -SW

 

_Then that's not my problem. -G_

 

I know it's not. Nothing's your problem anymore. -SW

 

_Exactly. So tell me, you Winchesters split, who broke up with who? -G_

 

Dean just left. Said he was poison. I told him I wasn't gonna stop him if he wanted to leave. -SW

 

_And I used to think you were smart. -G_

 

Gee, thanks. -SW

 

_You're welcome. -G_

 

He let an angel trick me, and he used me as a vessel. I think I have a right to be pissed off at him -SW

 

_Yes, you do. And he's got a right to be as self-loathing as he wants too. But when the hell are you kids gonna learn? Flying solo just ain't how it works for you guys. -G_

 

He has Crowley. I have Cas. -SW

 

_Wow. So not only did you divorce, but you split the kids too. Good going there. -G_

 

They-- whatever. Are you going to help us or not? -SW

 

_Yes. The both of you. -G_

 

What do you even mean by that? -SW

 

_I'll help you and Dean. -G_

 

I don't even know where he is -SW

 

_Then call the bastard. -G_

 

You don't think I tried? I tried to call him, so many fucking times. He won't answer me. Just like you wouldn't. -SW

 

_Sounds like somebody feels lonely. -G_

 

_Chin up Sammy. You said you had Cassie by your side. -G_

 

He's gone half the time, trying to find something to do. The other half he's staring at me like he can see just how fucked up I am inside, and he's disgusted by it. Must have been nice, when he was human. Didn't have to-- screw this, I don't need to whine to you. -SW

 

 _No no, go ahead. Gotta warn you though, you're probably eating up your phone b_ ill. -G

 

No. I'm done. I'm done with you. Go help Dean and Crowley. -SW

 

_Why would I want to? Dean abandoned you you said. I've kinda got this hate for abadoners. -G_

 

Fine-- then go save the world. Kick Metatron's ass, make Gadreel choke on his own grace, restore heaven, you'll be a hero. I'm out -SW

 

_Oh woah wait a minute. I'm a bit turned around. You want my help, yes? -G_

 

‘A guy can't change his mind'? -SW

 

_Rude. -G_

 

You're one to talk -SW

 

_Don't make me change my mind again. -G_

 

I really don't care, Gabriel. I'm so ready to die, do you understand me? Death had me, Death was going to reap me and it was going to be over, but no. Dean didn't want me to die, and now-- fuck this. -SW

 

_Then die. But don't do it by wasting away in some shitty room. -G_

 

_Fight, Sam. -G_

 

_Do what you Winchesters do best. Fight Metatron, fight Gadreel, save heaven, go out with a bang. -G_

 

_Then if you wanna die go ahead. Be my guest. I'll personally escort you to the pearly gates but under no circumstances do I want to watch you just give up after everything. You beat the apocalypse. You took on my big brother and i'm impressed. -G_

 

I'm tired of fighting. I just wanted to die in peace, damn it. I thought it was over and done with, and I thought everything was going to be smooth sailing. I didn't even mind going to hell-- and don't try and tell me that's not where I'm going. And I swear on all that is holy, if someone tries to bring me back again, I'm going to kill them, and then myself. -SW

 

_Nobody's gonna drag you back from the light if you die after this Sam. -G_

 

_But the world is a mess and somebody's gotta clean it up. -G_

 

_I can't do it alone. Dean and some shit demon can't. Cas sure as hell can't. -G_

 

I'm not waving the white flag yet, dick. Once this is over with, I don't give a fuck, I'm done. The world can clean up it's own damn messes after this -SW

 

I'm just tired. And I wish Dean didn't leave, as mad as I am at him. We need everyone together on this one. -SW

 

_Right. So you want me to mojo his ass over there and you two can talk it out or what. -G_

 

I want him to want to come back, not snatch Cas' blade and kill you -SW

 

_Gotta admit dying twice would be kinda strenuous. -G_

 

You didn't actually die! -SW

 

_Oh come on! You're such a buzzkill! -G_

 

_You guys do it all the time just let me have my moment! -G_

 

Fine. I'm so sorry you died, Gabriel. I'm glad you have come back to life. -SW

 

_Thank you. It was very difficult and I'm glad you acknowledge that I died for you and missed me. -G_

 

Hey, I never said I missed you -SW

 

_You cried over my body, Sammy. That counts as missing. -G_

 

We don't talk about that. I was emotional. -SW

 

Besides, I didn't cry because I missed you. I cried because one more stupid angel died for us -SW

 

_But as you're so keen to point out, I didn't die. -G_

 

I didn't know that at the time. I thought we had lost you. -SW

 

_This sounds like a soap opera. Fast forward to the sappy love confession. -G_

 

Sorry, there won't be any sappy love confession -SW

 

But I'm sure an evil twin will be revealed at any moment -SW

 

_I can arrange that. -G_

 

Please don't. I have enough to deal with as it is -SW

 

_You're no fun. -G_

 

I don't have the time to be fun, Gabriel. -SW

 

_That's even less fun. -G_

 

_Bet if you had some fun you wouldn't want to die. -G_

 

I assure you, I'd still want to die -SW

 

_No. -G_

 

Why are you telling me no? -SW

 

_How do you think I'm still alive? Fun can work wonders. -G_

 

Gabe. -SW

 

_Samsquatch. -G_

 

's not my name -SW

 

_Well Gabe's not mine either so. -G_

 

_I'm done with the identity crisis now. I think I'll stick with Gabriel. -G_

 

You just want me to call you Gabriel? -SW

 

_Yup. -G_

 

Alright. I mean, it's kinda funny. You're always giving everyone nicknames and you don't want your own -SW

 

_Yeah well Sam is a stupid name. So what were we talking about? -G_

 

That was... rude. We were talking about Metatron and Gadreel -SW

 

_No no after that. Fun. -G_

 

Sure, whatever, you think fun will cure my depression and suicidal thoughts -SW

 

_Alright look. -G_

 

 _I think you're a real downer. Like you're depressing all of us and that's just sad. But you can be sad. You can feel your feelings or whatever, but I don't think you should let it rule your life. Try having some fun, k? -_ G

 

Advice from a celestial being that doesn't have feelings, why does this not help me at all? But you're right, I'm sorry. -SW

 

_Hey I have feelings. -G_

 

Bullshit -SW

 

_How's that bullshit? -G_

 

Cas only experiences emotions cause he's fallen. You-- you're just a dick for the sake of being a dick half of the time, you lack empathy, and sympathy, apparently, and-- you don't act like you do -SW

 

_Did you forget the whole sacrificing myself for the love of my life and you and your brother or the whole 'I can't fight my brothers' thing or the letting you have Dean back or the pretending to die because I didn't want to kill my brother or for fuck's sake Sam you really think Cas only feels 'cause he's fallen? Let me tell you kiddo, angels are a lot more complex than you think. -G_

 

Jesus. Gabriel, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. That was way out of line for me to say. And, for the record, Kali's safe -SW

 

_You don't think I know that? I've been spending my time on neutral god territory and sorting disputes between blood thirsty pagans. None of them were happy that an angel, one related to the two that had the apocalypse that ruined the natural order in the pagan food chain, was helping them out and I have almost been assassinated many, many times. I know Kali's because I made it that way. So apology accepted, Sam. -G_

 

_Can you. Can you just ignore that. -G_

 

Ignore you accepting my apology, or ignore the fact that you love Kali so much? -SW

 

_Both. -G_

 

_And I don't love her. -G_

 

You just called her the love of your life. It's okay to admit that you love someone. It's not a weakness -SW

 

_I thought we were ignoring this. -G_

 

Sorry, sorry. I won't bring it-- or her-- up again -SW

 

_Good. -G_

 

So! Metatron and Gadreel. What's the plan, Gabriel? -SW

 

_No clue. -G_

 

Are you alright?-SW

 

_Why wouldn't I be? -G_

 

I was just making sure. We have no plan at all. Alright. Good to know.. wanna come over for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? -SW

 

_Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You sure know how to party. -G_

 

Hey, I'm poor and my brother has deserted me to go on a roadtrip with a demon, cut me some slack -SW

 

_Would you like something better? Preferably more sugary? -G_

 

No, you know I don't do sweets -SW

 

_Cas probably does. -G_

 

Then be my guest, I don't care. You're welcome in the bunker if you ever need a place, by the way. -SW

 

_Like I'd need a place. -G_

 

Just trying to be nice, here, I know this conversation hasn't been the friendliest -SW

 

 _To be fair neither have you. Or me for that matter, but mostly you._ -G

 

You started it, all I did was ask you for help -SW

 

_Which is asking for quite a lot in my opinion. -G_

 

Yeah, well, I need you. -SW

 

_Sure you're not gonna get to the sappy love confession any time soon? -G_

 

Shut up, alright? I'm just saying you're the least shitty angel I've met that's still alive, besides Cas, and I know what you've done for us already. -SW

 

_Alright feisty pants. Just teasing. -G_

 

Feisty pants? That's a new one -SW

 

_And now you're sassy too. Wonderful. -G_

 

Here I was thinking that sass turned you on. Damn it, guess I'll have to try a different approach -SW

 

I'm joking. You told me to have fun. So this is me being fun -SW

 

_I like fun you. -G_

 

You like me all the time, don't deny it -SW

 

 _I didn't like you when you guys killed me. Well. Thought you killed me. The first time._ -G

 

It wasn't like I wanted to. I was actually pretty damn disappointed when I found out you were the thing we were hunting. Though, turns out that's kinda how it works with me -SW

 

_How what turns out how? Hunting turns out disappointing? -G_

 

I don't have a great dating track record. I was into this girl Madison-- turns out she was a werewolf and I had to kill her. Amelia's husband came back from the dead, Crowley killed Sara... pretty much everyone I'm interested in ends up being a monster, dying, or their spouse is a zombie. -SW

 

_So you were interested in me and disappointed that I was a monster. -G_

 

_I'm touched. -G_

 

Shut up, Gabriel, it's not like I was still into you after that -SW

 

_You're breaking my heart, kid. -G_

 

Ha-ha, do you even have a heart? I mean like a literal heart, aren't you just stardust and matter? -SW

 

_My vessel's got a heart. -G_

 

I know that. But I meant your true self, or whatever -SW

 

_What my true form? Oh Sammy you can't even begin to understand. -G_

 

Tell me. -SW

 

_How do you expect me to tell you something that's hard enough to explain in Enochian? -G_

 

Just.. can you try? I don't know, I'm just curious -SW

 

_Jeez you're annoying. -G_

 

_It's like... it's like light. -G_

 

_Light and warmth and wave lengths and a whole bunch of other stuff. Cas would say love and emotion but I'm not too sure on all that. -G_

 

_We... true forms are different. Different ranks look different. Cas is like a skyscraper and he's got a whole lotta weird parts you don't wanna know about. Archangels are... well I could probably use the moon as a ping pong ball. -G_

 

Christ. That's kind of amazing. Do you have wings? I know that we can see shadow-wings, and I know your wings burn out when you die, but what do they look like in your trueform? Still like regular wings only... huge? -SW

 

_Fuck yeah. I mean we can only manifest two- those're your "shadow wings" and the ones that burn out. I've really got about... ten pairs. Maybe twelve. I dunno, you lose track after staying in a vessel for so long. They're twice as hard to explain. -G_

 

I was reading up on Archangels once. I thought you guys only had six. That's amazing, Gabriel. I had no idea. I mean, I asked Cas, but he wouldn't tell me -SW

 

_Nah it takes a lot to power something as big as me. Three main pairs, though, if that's what you mean. -G_

 

So, you can't like, manifest your wings into anything more physical? Just shadows? -SW

 

_Never tried. -G_

 

You should try. I kinda wanna see them. If that's allowed. -SW

 

_That'd be like flashing you my sexy parts. -G_

 

Oh. Yeah, nevermind, that's a part of you I never want to see -SW

 

_What, not up for anything sexy? I thought you were trying to be fun. -G_

 

I never said I wasn't up for anything sexy, I just didn't know if you were -SW

 

_Oh ho ho. And Sammy rises to the challenge. What, you wanna get it on with yet another monster? -G_

 

_Is there some monster sex bingo I don't know about? I want in. -G_

 

Yeah, all I need is 'Archangel' and I win. -SW

 

 _Then by all means you get the lube I'll get the condoms and let's do this thing_. -G

 

I've been waiting for you to say that for three years -SW

 

_Sappy love confession. -G_

 

That's not-- jesus, I was joking. Calm down, Gabriel, no sappy love confessions -SW

 

_Aw man. -G_

 

_I had the evil twin ready to go and everything. -G_

 

Please tell me you weren't planning a threesome with me, you, and one of our evil twins -SW

 

_No but I am now. -G_

 

_Do you think soulless you was into bondage? -G_

 

I don't... yeah, probably. No! Gabriel, jesus. Okay, okay, you win. The game's over -SW

 

_We were playing a game? -G_

 

Uh, yeah, I wasn't being serious about sleeping with you -SW

 

_Damn. -G_

 

Ha-ha, you're hilarious -SW

 

_Wasn't joking. -G_

 

What? -SW

 

_What? You're hot. -G_

 

Oooookay. I didn't know you thought that -SW

 

 _C'mon Sammy it's obvious. It ain't no sappy love confession but I would not mind getting in your pants_. -G

 

You know, earlier you were acting like you wanted nothing to do with us, and now you wanna sleep with me -SW

 

_Don't be silly. I can want to sleep with you and still hate you. -G_

 

_Angry sex is pretty good. -G_

 

...I'm not bottoming -SW

 

 _You think I would wanna top? With a guy of your size? Please. -_ G

 

Hey, who the hell knows, you're bossy -SW

 

_But I am no fool. -G_

 

I don't-- how does topping with a guy 'my size' make you a fool? -SW

 

_So people call you giant right. Giraffe, moose, sasquatch, whatever. I've gotta assume that your freakish size applies to ALL of you. -G_

 

Right. Because-- I thought you were just talking about my height -SW

 

_Oh no Sammy. -G_

 

Ah. I'm not gonna comment on that, you'll just have to find that out for yourself -SW

 

_So you are flirting. -G_

 

You started it -SW

 

 _And I am glad I did. -_ G

 

Why's that? Should I prepare myself for a sappy love confession? -SW

 

_Or a kinky clone threesome. -G_

 

_Whichever you prefer. -G_

 

Wow, that's the hardest decision i've ever had to make -SW

 

_Sarcasm doesn't suit you well Winchester. -G_

 

Screw you, Gabriel, I thought you liked fun me -SW

 

_Screw me please. -G_

 

I was planning on it -SW

 

_Sam Winchester I think I was just made speechless. -G_

 

I just made Gabriel the Archangel speechless, score one Team Sam. I know, I know, you love me. -SW

 

_Yeah yeah. -G_

 

_Sure. -G_

 

Wow, look who's not being fun now -SW

 

_I can't be fun all the time. Nobody's perfect. -G_

 

I thought you were, guess you've proved me wrong once again -SW

 

_You are cruel. -G_

 

I have no idea what you're talking about -SW

 

_Don't play games with me. -G_

 

No, I actually have no idea what you're talking about, how am I cruel? -SW

 

_So you're not flirting and teasing you really will have sex with me? -G_

 

I was flirting, and half the time I was teasing, and yeah, I'll have sex with you. Still doesn't explain how I'm 'cruel' -SW

 

_Oh well I thought you were teasing and not planning on having sex with me. -G_

 

Is it so bad I wanna sleep with you too? -SW

 

_Not at all. -G_

 

Good. Uh.. wow this conversation got off track. -SW

 

Not that I mind, or anything. Just first we're bickering and talking about Metatron, now this -SW

 

_We can bicker and talk about Metatron if you want. -G_

 

I'd actually rather keep flirting with you, it's much easier -SW

 

And more fun -SW

 

_See. Fun's great. -G_

 

Of course it's great, I get you to myself for one night -SW

 

_Aw just one night? -G_

 

I get you for more than one night? -SW

 

_Would you like me for more than one night? -G_

 

Well, yeah, of course -SW

 

_I feel the sappy love confession coming on. -G_

 

I'm all ears -SW

 

_Nah. Sappy love confessions aren't my style. -G_

 

Damn, I was already planning our fairytale wedding -SW

 

_Band or DJ? -G_

 

DJ, obviously -SW

 

_Cake flavor? -G_

 

Chocolate. You once told me that if it's not chocolate, it's not worth it -SW

 

_And I still stand by that. -G_

 

I know you do. Any other questions for me, or do you trust me enough to plan the wedding on my own? -SW

 

_Eh. I bet you can handle it. -G_

 

Where are we honeymooning -SW

 

_I'm thinking the Bermuda Triangle. -G_

 

Sounds romantic -SW

 

_Very. -G_

 

_Ok this is getting weird. -G_

 

Thank god, I wasn't sure I could keep going -SW

 

_Maybe we should just stick to bickering and talking about Metatron. -G_

 

What, and no more flirting? If you say so -SW

 

_I do say so. -G_

 

Sorry. Alright, we need a gameplan, then. Do you have any idea how to restore heaven? -SW

 

_Yep. -G_

 

...Why the fuck didn't you say something earlier?! -SW

 

_Cause it's a stupid plan. -G_

 

Tell me, damn it, and I'll decide -SW

 

_I don't even wanna use it Sam. It's a bad idea. -G_

 

Alright, we don't have to use it, but can you tell me anyway? -SW

 

_No 'cause I think one of you Winchesters will be dumb enough to use it. -G_

 

Gabriel, come on. If you tell me it's a bad idea, I won't use it, I just wanna know. I won't tell Dean. He won't even listen to me -SW

 

_Angels are locked out of Heaven. Metatron used some heavy shit and even Michael wouldn't be able to break in if he wanted to. Only things that can get through are human souls. And human souls go to Heaven when they die. Do the math. -G_

 

...That's a great idea, what are you talking about? -SW

 

_No, it's a horrible idea. What if something goes wrong, huh? What if you can't actually do anything from inside and you're stuck there, useless? -G_

 

I'm not useless. Do you know how many people I know up in Heaven? That would absolutely riot and save heaven from the inside if they knew what was going on? This.. Gabriel, this could work -SW

 

_You don't think people have tried that before? Humans may generate their own Heavens but they've got no power if an angel doesn't want them to have any. -G_

 

... Ash. Ash Miles died because of us. Someone blew up his home. He's the smartest man I know, next to Kevin Tran. With the two of them.. holy shit. Gabriel, with the two of them, there's no way this /won't/ work -SW

 

_Sam this is why I didn't want to tell you! Don't you understand, if it DOESN'T work, I can't bring you back. You'd be stuck there helpless. -G_

 

At least I will have tried. And died for the cause, like you want me to. Doesn't that count for something? -SW

 

_Fucking damn it. -G_

 

_I never should've told you. -G_

 

Gabriel, calm down. Why does it matter so much that I don't do it? -SW

 

 _What if you go to Hell, Sam? Huh? What if your plan doesn't work like you want it to_. -G

 

You told me you'd take me to heaven earlier... if you don't, I'm definitely going to hell -SW

 

_Damn that's right. Well what would Dean say. You think he's gonna approve of you offing yourself? -G_

 

He has no say in what I do. Why are you making such a big deal out of this, seriously?-SW

 

 _Once you go up there I'm helpless. There's nothing I can do except wait and watch the time go by. Plus, once you're up there, you're in Metatron's home base. He can do whatever he wants. There's just too many ways it could go wrong._ -G

 

That's completely not true. You can still try and kick some ass while you're down here. You don't have to just wait for my signal. Any plan we have is bound to have some things go wrong. It's fine -SW

 

If you're worried that you won't get to sleep with me, we can do that before I go -SW

 

_What, a "last night on Earth" deal? I've already had that. Not as fun as you might think. -G_

 

It'll be great. And when it's all said and done, you can come visit me in Heaven. You'll be taking over, I'm assuming -SW

 

_Hell no. I'm scared of responsibility, remember? -G_

 

Then you'll need to appoint an angel to take over. Not Cas. Last time that happened... he fucked up -SW

 

_I know. -G_

 

So... let's do this. I'll tell Cas to tell Dean the plan, and then... we'll do our thing, and I'll do mine -SW

 

_I don't like it. -G_

 

Why not? -SW

 

_Imagine a role reversal. Just for a minute. -G_

 

What do you mean? -SW

 

_Would you want me to kill myself, go to Heaven with the uncertain chance that I might meet up with some old buddies, have an even unlikelier chance of finding Metatron and killing him, or convincing him to reverse the spell, all without an angel blade, while you sit around and wait? -G_

 

_Or Dean, let's use Dean, he means more to you. -G_

 

That's not fair cause if you die, you die. Angels don't return to heaven once they're dead. SW

 

As for Dean, he'd do it anyway, regardless of how I felt about it, because that's what's right, and that's what might save the world -SW

 

_Might. -G_

 

Probably will -SW

 

And, Gabriel? It's not the sappy love confession you were hoping for, but you mean a lot to me, too. -SW

 

_Not the point, Sam. -G_

 

_This is dangerous. -G_

 

And it might just work -SW

 

You risked your life for us, and that was dangerous. Now it's my turn. -SW

 

...well. Again -SW

 

 _Know what. Fine. But I'm only taking you to Heaven under the condition that you tell Dean first. -_ G

 

I was planning on telling him. I was gonna have Cas tell him, actually, since he won't answer me -SW

 

 _Then have Cas tell him. But you don't do anything until Dean says something back._ -G

 

Jesus, why the hell do you care so much? I don't get it. It's not like you'll actually just be sitting here waiting for me like a fucking puppy. -SW

 

_Cause he's your brother and I think you take him for granted. -G_

 

_That's why I care that you tell Dean. Otherwise I care because I want my home back and I don't want you to fuck it up. -G_

 

You think I take Dean for granted. I was going to tell him and wait for him to say something before you even mentioned it, but thanks -SW

 

_You are so very welcome. -G_

 

I'm doing this. -SW

 

_Fine. -G_

 

...fine. You're not allowed to ditch earth while I'm gone, either. You need to stay here and kick ass -SW

 

_Kick what ass. There's no ass to kick. -G_

 

Abaddon. Demons. Rogue angels. The reapers that are attacking the angels on our side. -SW

 

There's plenty of ass -SW

 

_No fun ass. -G_

 

Yeah the only fun ass will have killed himself on a mission to heaven -SW

 

_Sigh. -G_

 

Fine. I'll deal with your little Hell skirmish. -G

 

I'll bake you a cake for your troubles -SW

 

_Chocolate. -G_

 

Like I'd ever forget -SW

 

 _Well when you plan on doing this? The break of dawn? Immediately?_ -G

 

Depends on when you want it. I told you the bunker's always open -SW

 

_Fine then. Break of dawn it is. -G_

 

If that's what you want, you'll just have to wake me up in the most obnoxious way possible -SW

 

_Morning sex obnoxious enough? -G_

 

You hereby have my permission to do that -SW

 

_Thank goodness. Angels always ask consent. -G_

 

Most of the time -SW

 

_? -G_

 

Gadreel tricked me, he didn't actually ask -SW

 

_Oh that's right. Well, I promise no tricks. -G_

 

And for some odd reason I trust you. I don't know if that's a bad thing or not -SW

 

_I'm the one throwing your ass upstairs I should hope you trust me. -G_

 

You haven't always been the most trustworthy angel, remember? -SW

 

_Must we reopen old wounds, Sam? -G_

 

You've already been forgiven. Have I told you that yet? -SW

 

_Nope. Don't think so. -G_

 

_Say it again. -G_

 

I forgive you, Gabriel. -SW

 

Happy? -SW

 

_Nope. Again. -G_

 

I forgive you -SW

 

_There we go. -G_

 

I'm glad I seem to have pleased you -SW

 

That... sounded better in my head -SW

 

_Oh no. I like how it sounds. -G_

 

You're an enormous dork. -SW

 

_This coming from the king of the nerds. -G_

 

At least you said king this time, last time it was 'queen', and before that it was 'princess' -SW

 

_Now I'm getting all sorts of ideas. -G_

 

Do tell -SW

 

_Another time, big boy. -G_

 

When is 'another time'? -SW

 

_When this whole "saving the world" business is over. -G_

 

Uh.. Gabriel, if your plan works, I'll be dead -SW

 

_Aw. That would make me a zombie fucker, wouldn't it? -G_

 

Is it possible to do that while in Heaven or...? -SW

 

_Tsk tsk. Lust is a sin, Sammy. It'd be like performing dark arts in a church. -G_

 

We can do that too, if you want -SW

 

_Sounds fun. -G_

 

And besides you're the one who brought up sleeping together, I'm pretty sure -SW

 

_Pretty sure it was me, yeah. -G_

 

You didn't answer my question -SW

 

_Which one? -G_

 

Is it possible for us to hook up in Heaven. -SW

 

_Yup. -G_

 

You wouldn't want to though, would you -SW

 

_Maybe. -G_

 

You wanna know something? -SW

 

_Of course. -G_

 

You're not as bad as I thought you were. You're still a dick sometimes, but so am I. And, I don't know. You're a good friend. -SW

 

_Sappy love confession. -G_

 

I don't even care. -SW

 

_Shame cause I do. -G_

 

Why do you care? -SW

 

_Why do I care about you? -G_

 

No, why do you care if it's a sappy love confession -SW

 

I know you don't care about me -SW

 

_Just goes to show you don't know everything. -G_

 

Alright, fine. Why DO you care about me? -SW

 

_I dunno. Stupid reasons. Smart kid, stubborn, all that good stuff. Plus you did save the world and put my brothers in their place, so there's that. -G_

 

Not stupid. Those are good reasons -SW

 

_Eh. -G_

 

Just 'eh'? Whatever, Gabriel. Now answer my first question -SW

 

_I need you to give a sappy love confession so we can get to the evil twin sex. -G_

 

You don't need a love confession for that -SW

 

_What, good old friends with benefits stuff? -G_

 

I thought that's what you were aiming for in the first place -SW

 

 _Yeah but the last time I tried that I got tied in with a succubus. -_ G

 

So, what, then? You get your love confession and then...? -SW

 

_Then we can do it on Metatron's front lawn all you want. -G_

 

If that's the case-- I love you. There. Now you know -SW

 

 _Then we shall fuck like rabbits until Metatron gets grossed out enough to leav_ e. -G

 

Ah yes, the /real/ plan to restore heaven and kill Metatron -SW

 

_It would probably be more effective anyway. -G_

 

Well, if you wanna try that first... -SW

 

 _Now now Sammy. We'll have plenty of time for that later._ -G

 

I thought we were gonna do the first plan in the next few days -SW

 

_Yes and? -G_

 

Nevermind. I told Dean, by the way -SW

 

_And? -G_

 

And he's pissed -SW

 

_And? -G_

 

And I'm still going to do it -SW

 

_Thought so. -G_

 

Is that okay? -SW

 

_Yea. -G_

 

_Did you tell him who the mastermind behind this plan was? -G_

 

Yep. He, uh. Had a few choice words for you -SW

 

Very colorful -SW

 

_Dean should write poetry. -G_

 

Please don't encourage him -SW

 

_"Oh Castiel, thou hast beautiful eyes blue as the sea. If it weren't for my sexuality crisis I'd want you to fuck me." Oh yeah, i can imagine it. -G_

 

I just choked on my water, thanks -SW

 

_You're welcome. -G_

 

You've managed to take my mind off of everything and make me feel better. Thanks -SW

 

_I'm happy to oblige. -G_

 

I'm still baking you that cake -SW

 

_I'm counting on it. -G_

 

I know you are. Can I ask you a favor? -SW

 

_Go right ahead. -G_

 

Can you stay in the bunker with me until it's time? -SW

 

_Sure thing, kiddo. -G_

 

Think I can see your wings? -SW

 

_...you can try. -G_

 

What do you mean? -SW

 

_We can try and see if it'll work. -G_

 

You can change your appearance at will, I'm sure it'll work -SW

 

_Changing my appearance is very different from showing you the real thing. -G_

 

But you'll try. -SW

 

_You bet. -G_

 

Thanks, Gabriel. For, you know. Pretty much everything. And don't laugh at me. -SW

 

_Why in the world would I laugh at you? -G_

 

Cause here I am, telling you I forgive you, and I love you, and thanking you, and it's just something you'd laugh at -SW

 

 _Correction. It's something an asshole would laugh at. I may snicker or giggle, but I won't laugh at you_. -G

 

You don't... do you actually giggle? -SW

 

_Naturally. -G_

 

That's kind of adorable -SW

 

_I'm kind of adorable. -G_

 

Not just kind of. -SW

 

_Well aren't you sweet. -G_

 

You like sweet -SW

 

_Guess it makes sense why I like you. -G_

 

Earlier you said you hated me -SW

 

_I did? Oh then I'm a liar. -G_

 

It's good to know you like me -SW

 

_Mhm. So. Now that this disgusting mushyness is over, what now? -G_

 

More disgusting mushyness, screwing like rabbits, kicking ass and restoring heaven. Sound good? -SW

 

_Very, very good. -G_

 

Why do I have to wait until sunrise to see you? -SW

 

_I have business to attend to. -G_

 

What kinda business? -SW

 

_Important angel business. -G_

 

_Well, pagan business. -G_

 

Don't die before you get here, I'll cry again -SW

 

_I promise not to die. -G_

 

Thanks. So, wait, are the Pagans actually pissed at you -SW

 

_Yep. And you. And your brother. Especially angry at Castiel. -G_

 

 _I don't think you boys realize how lucky you are that I've kept the ones still alive off your tail. -_ G

 

I could kiss you. But I won't. I could, though -SW

 

_That's good, considering we're gonna screw like rabbits. -G_

 

As soon as you get here, I hope -SW

 

 _As much as I admire your libido I think we should wait. There's this whole save the world business. -_ G

 

I thought that came after the cake and morning sex. -SW

 

_I've changed my mind. Saving the world sounds a whole lot more important, no offense. -G_

 

Fine. When do we start? -SW

 

_Saving the world or having sex? -G_

 

Saving the world. -SW

 

_Ah yes. Whenever you're ready. -G_

 

I'm ready now.. -SW

 

_Then as soon as I'm ready, which is dawn. -G_

 

How do I... how am I supposed to do it? -SW

 

_Kill yourself? I could do it. -G_

 

You'd be okay with that? -SW

 

_Yup. -G_

 

First date and you're already agreeing to smite me, how romantic -SW

 

_And you thought I didn't have a heart. -G_

 

Well now I know better, don't I? -SW

 

_Yes you do. Now you got a game plan for once you get up there? -G_

 

Ash will find me- he always does. I'll tell him to round everyone up. We'll talk about what we're gonna do, Ash and Kevin will do their thing, and... we'll figure it out from there -SW

 

_Oh that's detailed. No room for error there. -G_

 

I don't know exactly what's going to happen, okay? We have no idea what's going on up there. But I have to try. Got a better plan? -SW

 

_This was my plan, idiot. -G_

 

And I asked if you have a better one -SW

 

_I do not. -G_

 

Then we'll just have to use what we've got. And you'll complain the entire time, but this is the best we can do -SW

 

_I know. -G_

 

Don't call me an idiot, then -SW

 

_You're an idiot. -G_

 

How am I an idiot? -SW

 

_I don't know but you just are. -G_

 

You're really bad at flirting-SW

 

_I am aware. -G_

 

For the record, I'm gonna miss you. Probably gonna be too quiet up there without an Archangel popping up and being generally obnoxious. -SW

 

_I'll show up eventually. -G_

 

If this works. -SW

 

 _You were the one who was so sure of it Sammy. Don't back down on me now. -_ G

 

I'm still betting on it working. On the off chance it doesn't. I'll miss you -SW

 

_Well if you say it won't you're jinxing us all. -G_

 

My last name is Winchester. Pretty sure I'm jinxed for life -SW

 

_True facts. And I'll miss you too Samsquatch. -G_

 

's all I wanted to hear -SW

 

_Mhm. -G_

 

 _And if it doesn't work then you just kick back and enjoy the ride, alright? -_ G

 

I'll think about it. But you know me. I'm just full of fun and surprises -SW

 

_I knew there was a reason why I liked you. -G_

 

It wasn't because of my charming good looks? -SW

 

_Just icing on the cake. -G_

 

If it doesn't work, you gotta promise you'll help find a way to fix it -SW

 

 _I'll try. Can't guarantee I won't turn Dean into a dog or anything, but I'll try._ -G

 

Oh god, no, we already went through that -SW

 

_What, didn't you have fun? -G_

 

No... he got into a fight with a pigeon. -SW

 

_Did he now. Any other embarrassing stories about him you want to tell me? -G_

 

He's going to kill me. He, uh. I'm pretty sure he was flirting with another dog. And he barked at the mailman -SW

 

_I see I see. Did you make any bitch jokes? -G_

 

No, I was waiting for you. Usually you show up when something like this happens -SW

 

_So you been thinking of me huh? -G_

 

You know I have been. I pray to you, probably a lot more than I should -SW

 

_And I think it's very cute. -G_

 

_Slightly pitiful, but cute. -G_

 

I'm not pitiful. Or cute. -SW

 

_You are very pitiful and very, very cute. -G_

 

Fine, but you're pitiful and cute too -SW

 

_Not gonna deny it. -G_

 

I don't think I want you to be the one to kill me, honestly -SW

 

_Why not? I can make it painless. -G_

 

I don't want to die knowing you killed me. -SW

 

 _Even if I didn't really mean it?_ -G

 

I don't like it -SW

 

_Then how do you plan on biting the dust? -G_

 

I don't know. Shoot myself, I guess -SW

 

_Boring. -G_

 

What, do you want me to confess my undying love for you (again) while I dive off of a cliff, or something equally dramatic? Thanks, but I think I'll stick with shooting myself -SW

 

_Fine fine. Do it your way. -G_

 

_But I'm gonna be there. -G_

 

You don't actually want to watch me kill myself, Gabriel -SW

 

_No, but I want to make sure it's painless. -G_

 

I'm going to cry. I hope you know that -SW

 

_Yeah. Yeah, I do. -G_

 

Just warning you. -SW

 

 _Thanks. Dean plan on being there for the big send off? -_ G

 

No. He doesn't want to be. He doesn't-- I think he doesn't think I'm gonna go through with it -SW

 

_No offense Sam, but your brother's a fucking dumbass. -G_

 

_And Castiel? -G_

 

Cas knows. He's not going to try and stop me, but he's tried to tell me it's a bad idea, even though he thinks it might work -SW

 

_Sounds like him. So do you want Dean there? Either way it's kinda like you're last few moments until Dean dies himself. -G_

 

Dean's not going to die -SW

 

_See I think you weirdos died and came back so many times that you've just forgotten that dying is a normal thing. What, so, Dean's gonna have a heart attack from all that grease he calls food and Cas will haul his ass back to Earth? I don't think so. There are such things as natural causes, you know. -G_

 

No shit, sherlock. But he's not going to die for a while. At least, I hope not -SW

 

_As long as the kid holds in until this Metatron business is over with I'm good. I don't need to see Castiel moping about because he can't get to his favorite boy toy. -G_

 

Cas wouldn't-- yeah, nevermind, he really would mope. But you can't call Dean his 'boy toy'. They don't have sex. -SW

 

_I wish they would. Cas needs to get laid, badly. -G_

 

Maybe I'll lock them in a room with scented candles and rose petals on the bed as my gift to them before I die -SW

 

_I like the way you think. -G_

 

I learned it from you -SW

 

You're a bad influence -SW

 

_Can't be that bad if you're getting such awesome ideas from me. -G_

 

You're not _that_ bad. -SW

 

_I should hope not. -G_

 

Can we share a cake before I go? Or will that take too much time? -SW

 

_If that's a euphemism for sex then no. If you just want cake then yes. -G_

 

I meant cake, literally. -SW

 

_Then yes. -G_

 

Guess you could call it my dying wish -SW

 

_That's a pretty good dying wish if you ask me. -G_

 

I knew you'd feel that way. I just, you know. Want us to be able to hang out and talk and eat cake like I'm not about to die and try and save the world. We can pretend to be normal -SW

 

_We're a Winchester and an archangel. We aren't ever gonna be normal. But hey if that's what you want we'll eat our cake, watch a movie, and chit chat like there's no tomorrow. -G_

 

I said pretend. I know we'll never be normal. But clocking out with my favorite archangel before shooting myself would be nice -SW

 

_I'm your favorite archangel? How sweet. I bet Luci's so jealous. -G_

 

I'm being serious. -SW

 

_I know but I'm not. If you want to just chill and pretend that you're not about to off yourself then I'm not going to be serious. -G_

 

Is it so bad that I wanna do that?-SW

 

_Do what? -G_

 

Hang out. Pretend. -SW

 

_Nah. Lots of sad people like to play happy. Happens all the time. -G_

 

How's the pagan thing going? -SW

 

_Considering you keep distracting me, not well. -G_

 

Then I guess I'll leave you to it and I'll see you in the morning? -SW

 

_Sure thing kiddo. -G_

 

I'll see you, Gabriel. -SW

 

_See ya round Sammy. -G_


	2. Chapter 2

                It isn’t until sunrise that Sam sees Gabriel. He doesn’t have a cake prepared, only a single beer for each of them. He’s already called Dean, spoken to him. Dean isn’t the ‘talking about it’ type. Never has been. Sam knows that, so he doesn’t pry. Dean does apologize. For everything. For being a shitty brother, even though Sam tries to assure him he isn’t. He’s made mistakes, but he’s still Sam’s brother. Jerk.

                The hunter and the archangel don’t exchange many words when Gabriel appears. They sit on the couch, making small talk, doing just what Sam wanted them to do. Pretend he wasn’t about to shoot himself in the head and try to save the world in some ridiculous plan that may or may not work. Sam’s having doubts now, and Gabriel can tell by the way the hunter’s eyes travel around the room, memorizing every wall, every piece of furniture, every priceless artifact. He doesn’t comfort him.

                They both agree that it’s time after the credits roll on Rocky Horror Picture Show. They’ve stalled as long as they could, but there’s no way they can drag this out any longer than they already have. It’ll only hurt more when the bullet leaves the gun and enter’s Sam’s brain.

                Sam takes his place on his bed, sitting cross-legged against his pillows. Gabriel stands for a moment, shifting back and forth on his feet, before deciding it’s in his best interest to crawl up on the bed in front of Sam. He chooses to kneel. Golden eyes avoid the hazel of Sam’s own before he feels a foot nudge at his knee.

                “Sam--” Gabriel tries to hide the break in his voice. Embarrassing. The last thing he wants is for the hunter to see him fall to pieces like this. It’s funny, when he thinks about it. Lucifer fell for the annihilation of humans. Gabriel just fell for one. He searches for the right words to say to Sam. These are, after all, his last moments with the hunter for a long time.

                Even though he knows this his his last chance to tell Sam just how he feels, he can’t. He’s Loki, the Norse God. He’s Gabriel the Archangel. The Trickster. He has a reputation to uphold. And he shouldn’t be sitting on a hunter’s bed-- Sam Winchester, of all people--dangerously close to some sappy love confession he genuinely hates so much.

                Gabriel falls. Sam is there to catch him.

                “Yeah,” Sam laughs out, wet and choked. His left hand clasps over Gabriel's right, resting on the Archangel’s lap.He knows. Gabriel is reassured by the touch. At least Sam knows. “Me too.”

                Sam picked his favorite gun. A Taurus PT92, with pearl grips. It sits beside him on the bed, where he faces Gabriel. Trembling hands wrap around the gun, letting it rest in his own lap. Fear of dying had dissipated years ago. That’s not what Sam is afraid of anymore. He’s not even afraid of the pain. Only reason Gabriel is even there is to make this as painless as possible. It’s Dean. It’s Dean, and Castiel, and Gabriel. It’s leaving everyone behind. Though Sam’s lost so many people on the way, the ones he still has? Irreplaceable.

                “You’ll make sure I don’t go to hell?” Sam needs the reassurance. Gabriel can’t take him directly to Heaven, but he can make sure that Sam’s headed in the right direction. The angel--his angel-- nods. Gabriel lets his gaze rest on the gun in Sam’s lap as if it could go off at any second. Somehow, he always knew the Winchester would die with a gun in his hand.

                “You got it, kiddo.”

                Silence. There's no lustful surge forward on Gabriel's part, claiming Sam as his own. Sam doesn't begin to sob pitifully and fall limp in Gabriel's arms, confessing how he has loved him all along.

                No, Sam's tears are silent as they stream down down his face, faux smile playing at his lips. Gabriel's expression remains as stoic as possible, but Sam knows, he sees. Gabriel tends  to forget that Sam knows him better than most hunters would get to know an angel.

                Sam lifts the gun, Gabriel’s eyes following it intently, and for a second, Sam swears he sees fear there. After millennia of hiding his true feelings, one can never be too sure with an Archangel. It’s there in the way he squeezes Sam’s hand, let’s his powers work their way into the hunter’s nervous system, taking away any pain that would go along with what came next.

                Only when he watches the light leave Sam’s eyes does he finally heave a shaky breath. He’d insist he isn’t crying, if anyone asked him. Angel’s don’t cry, he would tell you. He lead’s Sam’s soul away from the reaper that is destined to drag him down to Heaven or Hell. The walls to Heaven are blocked visibly, Gabriel having to stop as far as he can go and giving Sam a push.

                “ _Save the world just one more time, Sam Winchester.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Gabriel doesn’t see Sam again after that.


End file.
